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For most of us, 2020 was an odd year. We found ourselves in situations we never thought would happen to us, right? And then BOOM! it happened, to you.
2020 was a very hard year for me. I ended relationships with family members and friends, I formally ended my marriage, I sold my first condo and I missed the birth of my nephew, it was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from my mom and sisters and I actually spent it alone at home...
BUT! 2020 also taught me alot about myself and as far as self development, it has been my best year yet. You can choose to focus on all the negative shit or change your mindset and acknowledge the negative but highlight and focus the positive.. If I had to sum up 2020 in one word, it would be BOUNDARIES. For the sake of my personal wellbeing, I ended relationships with family members and friends that just were not serving me. No only was the relationship ended, but a boundary was put in place and now those people who are no longer a part of my life rarely come up in conversation and I am no longer worried about what they did, say or think about x,y and z....and its so rewarding. Selling my first condo was rough; it was a HUGE accomplishment to be able to be in a financial position to even buy in the first place, especially in CA! 550 held a lot of happy memories and accomplishments but also a lot of sad and angry memories for me. My therapist and I talked through possibly keeping it as a sole owner but the more and more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed a clean break from it all; and honestly, it was alot easier than I thought it would be.
Little babe (my 12lb Shih-Tzu Maltese who basically runs my entire Universe) are now set up in our own little casita. When I weighed all the possible options and threw in the COVID-19 factor, it made the most sense for me to buy something small and temporary while I plan for the next home purchase in a few years, of course, using the same realtor/friend (thanks Mandy, I honestly don't think I would have been able to get thru all this as easily without a patient and caring realtor/friend!). I was terrified of living alone; I remember sitting across from Mandy and telling her that I wasn't sure if living alone was for me just like I told my therapist over and over and over that I was terrified by the mere idea of living along. Then they both said basically the same thing: "well aren't you basically living alone now? and is it worth your peace of mind, health and happiness - can you afford NOT to live alone?" Then I realized, I had never truly lived alone and I NEEDED to.
I did have to compromise more than I initially thought I would with the home purchase but as I sit here in my dining room and just take a minute to breathe it all in, I realize that all of 2020 was not what I wanted, but it was what I needed. Many people wait until the new year to have some sort of change or shift to routine or mindset; but you don't have to. You can choose at any point to make the changes or shifts; I just hope that those decisions are to better your overall health, happiness and wellbeing, You only get one body and one mind, take care of it and go to the end of the Earth, move mountains and oceans and go to the pits of hell for yourself because if you won't, who will???
Here's to 2021!